In your family, do you have to be bigger or smaller than your position? For example, are you the eldest who feels like the youngest, or are you the youngest who feels like you are the eldest?
In your workplace, do you feel superior to your boss, or are you the boss who feels inferior to your employees?
In the organizations you volunteer with, do you feel superior to the staff of the organization or the chair of the committee, or do you feel inferior to them?
Do you treat your peers/friends as children or do you feel treated as a child by them? (“You poor thing”)
On a scale of 0 to 10, how often are you the caretaker in the group, organization, family, etc.? (0 is= never and 10 = always)
On a scale of 0 to 10, how often do you try to organize others in your family or groups?
On a scale of 0 to 10 how often do you become the wallflower in the group?
On a scale of 0 to 10, how often do you believe you need to share your wisdom with others, whether they want to hear it or not? (0 is never and 10 is always)
Are others frequently smarter or less intelligent than you?
On a scale from 0 to 10, how often do you find yourself jumping in and rescuing people or projects when others do not do their jobs?
On a scale from 0 to 10, how often do you find yourself playing knight in shining armor or damsel in distress?
On a scale from 0 to 10, how often do you feel like a victim?
On a scale from 0 to 10, how often do you find causes to champion?
What does it cost you ?
What does it cost others?
How willing are you on a scale from 1 to 10 to put it down for good?
What do you need to put it down?
What do you need to pick it up to replace what you have put down?
What do you lose by putting it down?
How guilty would you feel if you put this pattern down?
What are the patterned responses you use most often?
This is my wound.”
“I want to sit with this.”
“It is too much for me.”
“I am always overwhelmed.”
“I just need to change jobs, neighbourhoods, cities, countries, etc. ”
“I need it done this way, for me to understand.”
“It is always this way in my family.”
“This is just the way it is.”
“In my family we………… and that works for me.”
“This is how I am.
If you were to change this pattern of not taking your place:
How would you be more peaceful or more troubled?
What other limiting patterns may be released?
What one sentence might you start saying differently?
If you took your place:
What might happen in your family?
What might happen in your organization?
How might responsibilities shift?