Each generation seems to have a different approach to life and to each other. Or do they?
St Francis of Assisi chose the opposite path to his father and established what might be called a commune or perhaps even a cult in the 1200’s. Yes he was promoting his faith as well as love for nature and the underprivileged. The Hippy Movement did the same thing and the Green Movement focusses sustainability for every living thing on the planet. So I am not really convinced that much has changed. What I think needs to change is the culture of the “Elders”.
When younger we were told to listen to our “Elders” and yes they have much to teach.
And yet is is the little ones who highlight what elders need to learn.
Parents are concerned about their children, they bring them to therapy to be “fixed”. Yes there are many reasons to be concerned about the next generation. And this statement has been repeated since the days of Socrates.
Yet, I tell you that I have young adults who come to see me because they long for a relationship with their parents and have no idea how to build it. So we talk about seeing their parents as they are-as products of generations who experienced multiple traumas. We become aware of even more hurts, frailties, gifts, and joys. We acknowledge those hurts, frailties, gifts and joys and we give them their place in our heart, body and spirit.
Then we discuss and embody acceptance of it all and most of all we talk about learning how to appreciate all the learnings that have come from the “good”, the “bad” and the “ugly”.
Ironically this is what they want from their parents. To have a sense of peace they have to give this to their parents first. Ideally, their parents would have modelled this. Unfortunately, they did not have the presence that is required to do this.
Yes I read about this in the text books and self-help but I truly learned about the importance of presence from my Grandchildren, on both sides of the veil.