Lately we noticed that many who have faithfully journaled were revisiting the same complaints year after year. So they burnt their journals. Some of us questioned why? We think that it is likely because we tend to look at our life and our world through the same lens.
What would happen if we changed our lens?
A number of us gathered in small groups with various friends and or acquaintances and re-explored our lives with 4 different lenses.
The First Lens
We focus on the facts, not assumptions. For example, how many moves, marriages, children, deaths, etc.? Include dates. Placing events on a timeline may result in some insights.
(Reinforces the employment of the left side of the brain that engages the logical, linear, rational processes.)
The Second Lens
This is the lens that so many are stuck in. What is the tragedy for you in what happened? What went wrong? Who hurt you? Who do you blame? How is your cup half empty? When you are focussed on the empty cup, you remain a victim. The resources that could be “milked” from the experience cannot surface. However, before they can surface, the pain and hurt need to be acknowledged by you and by others. Allowing yourself to “wallow” in self-pity for a little while is useful. How long you stay there is what holds you back in life.
(This engages the right side of the brain and it gives you an opportunity to have your pain seen, perhaps for the first time. You can also test out how safe it is to share your story.)
Octavia E. Butler
The Third Lens
Your Pollyanna Story. How is your cup half full? What would you not have in your life if these events had not happened? How are you a stronger person? How are you a better person as a result? Here you begin to integrate your “trauma” whether it be a little “t” trauma or a big “T” trauma. To integrate it you look at how this event has made you the beautiful spirit you are today. Perhaps you have become so sensitive to others needs, that you are the “go to” person whenever someone needs help. Perhaps you have become a great observer of life, a great listener, very independent, a great entrepreneur, a great warrior, etc.
There are always gifts, one needs to have considerable ego-strength to see them.
The Fourth Lens
Integrating the facts, the tragedy and the gifts. Discovering that your cup is refillable!
- Integrating the mind, body and spirit regarding troublesome events
- Ability to self soothe as you create your own meaning around what happened
- Ability to be objective, compassionate and kind towards yourself and those involved
- Owning your story means acknowledging what happened and accepting what happened exactly as it happened with no need to change it. Once you have owned your story, you can write the ending of your choosing.
Our next group session will begin Monday, October 5 from 4:30 to 6:30 pm
Digital Workbook will be provided upon registration.
The first 4 weeks you are guided to fully explore the first 3 lenses.
The following 3 weeks are devoted to integrating the stories using mind, body and emotions.
Re-story-ing sessions are offered privately or for a group. For more information contact Rosalba.
Facilitated by Rosalba Stocco and Jacqueline Johnson