Forgiveness is not about becoming best friends! Forgiveness is about releasing that knot in your stomach whenever anyone mentions that name because that knot in your stomach hurts.
Forgiveness is not about forgetting because forgetting may dishonor the experience. Forgiveness is about remembering without experiencing the pain.
Forgiveness is not about letting the other person off the hook for what they have done. Forgiveness is about asking them to be accountable and giving them an opportunity to right the wrong when possible.
Forgiveness is not about being better than the other person. Forgiveness is about accepting yourself; even if you too could have done what the other did under their circumstances.
Forgiveness is about letting go of the anger. And letting go of the anger towards the other may be easier than letting go the anger towards yourself, those who are supposed to care for you or even God.
“And remember to “let go” is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.”
Forgiveness is about: Remembering the AA mantra: “There but for the grace of God go I”
Forgiveness is about love; loving yourself enough to find a way to grow and learn about how deeply you are connected to your core self. It is your core self that can help you bounce back and continue on this amazing journey called “Life.
Questions to ponder:
- How have I responded to this difficulty so far?
- How have I suffered by my own response and reactions?
- What does this problem ask me to let go of?
- What will I achieve if I work through this situation?
- What have I learned from this
experience?
Fogiveness that is truly healing preserves the dignity of the guilty person as well as that of the victim.”
Bert Hellinger
